When is it too late to save your marriage or your business?
There is almost always a way to save things. It’s about making a conscious effort and getting on the same page. The grace of forgiveness can take place.
You may have to own up to your lack of priorities and eat some appropriate crow in order to begin reconciling the relationship, but most people are willing to accept an apology if it is coupled with a sincere effort to make things right. Talk is cheap. Actions are all that matter if there’s a mountain of broken promises to scale. But it can be done.
Can you really have your cake and eat it too?
Sometimes. It just doesn’t taste like there is sugar in it every time you take a bite! Ha! Yes, you can have a successful business and a successful marriage. They aren’t meant to be opposed. They are meant to be integrated. We should have a unity of life where all our endeavors are greeted with a servant mentality.
We need to clearly understand our talents and shortcomings in all areas of our life and do our best to play to our strengths and work on the weaknesses that adversely affect others. I am a fan of Pope Francis and he says every family should keep three works top-of-mind: Please, thanks, sorry.
Please, thanks, sorry
We should say please when we ask someone at work or at home to do anything for us. And say thanks as often as appropriate. Showing appreciation is critical to building a culture of cheerfulness. Catching people doing things right is fundamental to progress.
And finally, we all make mistakes. When we do, having the courage to say sorry is tremendous. I remember having to apologize to my son recently. The look on his face was priceless. The reality is this: Dad’s screw up sometimes, too.
Though these relationship basics may sound trite or simple, they are anything but. It takes humility and fortitude to say please, thanks and sorry. Yet these simple words can help us build a foundation of positivity at work and at home.
What if everything is falling apart?
Your marriage may be on the rocks due to your business commitments. Or your business may have taken a back seat for far too long. If either one (or both!) is in jeopardy, there are some things you need to consider in order to have authentic joy. It doesn’t just happen like this: “Oh, my business is failing and my wife hates me! I am so happy!”
I think the first thing to consider is this: where does joy come from? Ultimately it’s a part of who we are and we are children of God. Thus, joy comes from God. Yet, there is so much suffering, you might say. True. Why? Because one of the reasons we know we are children of God is because of the freedom we have. But this freedom includes the ability to make bad choices as well as good ones.
What the freedom of choice does to us
As earthly fathers, we inherently don’t want our children to suffer, yet we know they will. As a Catholic Christian, I look at what God allowed to happen to his son. Nothing that I nor my kids endure could compare with being physically and spiritually tortured in the manner in which Jesus was crucified. So any business failure or struggling marriage has to be seen through the eyes of God, if possible.
The eyes of God
Thus, for whatever reason, God is allowing this to happen to take me/us to a better place. It’s a learning opportunity to strengthen my faith or to knock down my ego or wake me up to stop being so selfish. And when I see failure in this light- from a supernatural perspective- I can embrace the difficulty as a child of God. And if I can do this- which I can’t always do very well- I know I am in the company of Jesus. And if I refuse to let Him leave my side, there is nothing on earth that
can shake my joy.
can shake my joy.
Who is Doug? Doug Kisgen is an author, entrepreneur and personality expert. His primary work? Raising his five kids with his wife of 20+ years in the hill country of Texas.
For ways to put these ideas into practice, check out Doug’s book, Rethink Happy: An Entrepreneur’s Journey Toward Authentic Joy, available now as an e-book or in paperback!